Beyond "School Refusal": Building a Bridge with the "School Can’t" Approach
It is okay to stop and ask: “What is my priority right now?” Is it a specific grade, or is it my child’s mental health? You are your child’s best advocate. You can understand the school’s perspective while still setting boundaries that protect your child’s nervous system.
Before Self-Regulation comes Co-Regulation
When a child is in a survival state, the brain is prioritising safety - not reasoning, learning, or cooperation - so no amount of lecturing, problem-solving, or consequences will work to calm them. The nervous system just needs to feel safe again.
After School Restraint Collapse
The build up of stress chemicals throughout the day (whether it be school, university or work), along with masking to fit in and appear 'non-autistic,' can often result in a spillover of energy and emotions upon arriving home. This is referred to as After School Restraint Collapse (Nair, 2017).